To My Mom,
It has been a while since I have expressed my love or shared with you how much you mean to me. One letter is never enough. One holiday could never do it justice. All you have done for me deserves repeating over and over again. When someone pours their love into you like you have for me, expressing gratitude should be a regular occurrence. Except it isn’t. Life and being busy was taking over my time. So this Mother’s Day there is something I want you to know.
You Showed Me How To Have It All As a Mother
I still remember going to your college graduation. What an amazing gift to see your mom graduate. I can’t imagine how hard that was to go to school while raising two little girls. You didn’t snap at us or feel frustrated over how tired you were. I just remember your radiant smile as you were handed your diploma in front of your girls. Thank you for showing us being a mom doesn’t hold you back from going after your dreams.
During my bad girl phase, you never shamed me. I almost wanted you to punish me more or make me feel worse. You never did. I thought you must be so embarrassed but you never made me feel that way. I know other kids’ parents judged. Maybe that hurt you but I never felt it. Thank you. I believe I moved through that phase quicker because you let me find my way. You had a way of showing us the standard with which to live without putting us down when we didn’t meet it. You waited for us to rise up on our own.
You Trusted My Choices Without Judgement
When I met my now husband and he asked you and dad for my hand in marriage after two months of dating, you didn’t freak out at all. At least not in front of me. I remember driving back to the city feeling pretty lucky to have parents that trusted my heart. I was 25 at the time and job jumping every year, but you always smiled. Thank you for being the constant source of support without questioning or negativity. That kind of love allowed me to be brave and try new things. Without it, I wonder if I would be who I am today.
When I moved to Costa Rica for a year it was the first time I felt your anger, or sadness masked as anger. You couldn’t keep the smile you always kept. It was hard to see. Yet despite the hurt, you downloaded a Spanish app on your phone. You bought the kids Spanish flashcards. You booked a flight to come down to see us for two weeks. I remember seeing you get off the flight and land in Costa Rica. You were so flustered and uncomfortable. In that moment I realized how big of an ask I had made. Yet, you did it. The look on my kids’ faces when they got to show you their school was priceless. Thank you for pushing your feelings aside to be there for me.
If You Ever Doubted Yourself As a Mother, I Am Sorry For Not Saying Thank You More
Mom, please know that now I know. I know how much you loved me because I am a mother now myself. There are lessons I haven’t learned that you know are waiting. I do things differently at times. I am not there all the time because I live in another state. Our love surpasses time or distance. You will continue to trust and support me. As I get older, I understand more and more what you sacrificed with grace because of your love for me and Kristen. Thank you for being a shining example of what a mother is. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.
All my love,