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Don’t Let Your Negative Past Control Your Future

Let me start by saying that I am not a psychologist or a doctor, and I will never claim to know it all. My advice may not work for everyone but it comes from my heart and a place of personal experience.

Not letting your negative past control your future is a lot easier said than done.

We spend our entire lives becoming who we are. Every experience molds us. And, to expect that we won’t be affected negatively by certain circumstances in our lives is just ignorant. 

But there is a major difference between control and affect.

Control means “to eliminate or prevent the flourishing or spread of.” When you allow something negative to control you, you are allowing that something to limit your life. You are allowing that something to destroy your chance at living your life to your full potential. However, allowing these events in your life to affect you is not saying that you are going to allow it to control you, but rather you are going to choose to learn from the difficulties in your life. That you are going to choose to rise above your hardships or failures and run toward what you were born to do and accomplish.

You have a choice: to allow every negative experience in your life to break you down as a person or to learn from it, grow and make positive steps forward.

I personally was at a very stressful time in my life, a moment where I felt I was at the lowest of lows and had no where to go but up. I was in a meeting with one of my church leaders and we were discussing my situation and what was currently weighing heavy on my heart. In our conversations she muttered a verse. She then continued on with what she was saying. It took me a second to process what she had just said to me but I stopped her in mid sentence and asked her to repeat what she had just said. Hearing that verse was THE monumental moment in my life where I decided to no longer be afraid.
I have always considered myself a very reflective person and have made it a point to constantly take a look at my life to see if I was proud of what and who I was becoming. It may have taken me a while to figure out that I was on the wrong path, but luckily I would eventually get it. And if I wasn’t on a path that I was proud of I would try to figure out how to adjust what I was currently doing. 

Avoid using living in the past as an excuse for not improving the present.

When things about your life don’t stack up right now, sort them out instead of reminiscing about how much better things used to be or could have been. You’re an innovative, creative, adaptable human being who is capable of making the choice to live better; trying to compare your current situation with the past risks holding you back.


Every past decision or experience can be a learning experience. Good or bad!

When you find yourself wide awake at night, and the events of your past are haunting your days there will come a time when you will have to decide to let go of the past and make the decision to no longer live there. If you continue to allow your past to control your future your past will become more than just your past but it will start to define you as a person.

I read somewhere that your thoughts affect your emotions, your emotions affect your actions, your actions affect your habits, your habits affect your lifestyle and your lifestyle becomes your destiny.

Using your unhappy situation or events in your life as a constant excuse to rationalize not improving yourself will eventually catch up with you. This rationalization will bring you greater pain than the initial challenges and tribulations you faced. Don’t let it destroy your current chances of leading a fulfilled successful life. If you do your inner demons win.

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2 Responses to Don’t Let Your Negative Past Control Your Future

  1. Elizabeth
    Elizabeth July 11, 2017 at 2:57 am #

    I love this Savannah! Great job!!! So what was the verse that your church leader mentioned? If you already said it I must have scrolled right past! LOL but I’d love to know…

    • Savannah Francis July 11, 2017 at 7:39 am #

      Thanks so much Elizabeth! It was Isaiah 40:31; “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

      For me it was a ah-ha moment. All I could picture was myself jumping from a cliff and soaring. Making it. Trusting in what I was being led to do. That moment I was given a new strength and I knew everything was going to be alright… because the Lord was leading me! 🙂

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