Let me start by saying that I am not a psychologist or a doctor, and I will never claim to know it all. My advice may not work for everyone but it comes from my heart and a place of personal experience.
Not letting your negative past control your future is a lot easier said than done.
We spend our entire lives becoming who we are. Every experience molds us. And, to expect that we won’t be affected negatively by certain circumstances in our lives is just ignorant.
But there is a major difference between control and affect.
Control means “to eliminate or prevent the flourishing or spread of.” When you allow something negative to control you, you are allowing that something to limit your life. You are allowing that something to destroy your chance at living your life to your full potential. However, allowing these events in your life to affect you is not saying that you are going to allow it to control you, but rather you are going to choose to learn from the difficulties in your life. That you are going to choose to rise above your hardships or failures and run toward what you were born to do and accomplish.
You have a choice: to allow every negative experience in your life to break you down as a person or to learn from it, grow and make positive steps forward.
Avoid using living in the past as an excuse for not improving the present.
Every past decision or experience can be a learning experience. Good or bad!